


Shedding

by DoomedKelpie



Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dermatillomania, Excoriation Disorder, Janus sheds, Mental Illness, Self-Esteem Issues, Shedding, Skin picking, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, references to mental illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: Janus hides his shed, not wanting the others to worry about how it will affect his skin picking.
Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002450
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	Shedding

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I meant to have this up days ago, but I’ve been busy with school, and my mom got me some new crochet patterns, so I’ve been spending all my free time crocheting. I’m also kinda freaking out ‘cuz I have to get a thyroid biopsy on Friday, and I very much fear needles/medical procedures. 
> 
> But here it is, even if it’s posted later than I wanted it to be:

His skin was crawling again, but this time, it was for a completely different reason than usual. This time, it wasn’t in his head. He wasn’t just obsessing over imperfections and dots and scabs. This time, his skin was crawling for an entirely physical reason.  _ This _ time, his  _ skin _ , his  _ human skin _ wasn’t the problem.

It was his scales.

Janus was beginning his shed.

The thing was, Janus usually liked his scales. He certainly preferred them over his human skin, at least. And sure, there was a part of him that resented that he was different from the others and that the reason he had scales was because Thomas had learned to associate snakes with lying and deception, but that part was usually silenced by the part of his mind that could look at his scales and  _ not _ find issues there. His scales simply didn’t have the same imperfections as his skin did, so most of the time, he felt no compulsion to pick at them.

_ Most of the time _ .

Unfortunately, the scales came with a yearly drawback: shedding. Luckily, it wasn’t a full shed like an actual snake would have, since Janus was more human than snake anyway, but it still wasn’t pleasant.

Once a year, Janus would start to feel his scaley half start to itch, and after a few days of itching, the old scales would begin to peel up. A day or two after that, the old scales would all be gone, and he would be fine- and he’d have a whole year before he needed to worry about shedding again. 

But before the old scales were all gone, Janus was faced with the same problem he was faced with in regards to his human half, except it was often  _ worse _ . When he was shedding, he couldn’t stop picking at his scales  _ or _ his skin. Sure, picking at his peeling scales probably wasn’t anything bad- after all, how else would he get them off?- but picking at his shedding scales made the thoughts of picking at his skin remain at the forefront of his mind for the duration of the shed. 

Inevitably, he would give in to the urge to pick at his flesh. In the past, his shedding kept him preoccupied, so even though he  _ thought _ about picking his skin constantly, he was too consumed with picking at his scales. To an extent, the peeling of his old scales also fulfilled that compulsion enough to keep him from causing too much damage elsewhere. In more recent years, however, just peeling away the scales wasn’t enough, and he would just spend even more time picking at himself than the already ridiculous amount of time he spent doing so. Now, his shed made the skin picking worse. A  _ lot _ worse. 

So, when Janus felt the familiar itch start up again, he decided that he would have to hide away in his room during the actual shed. He would go out during the itchiness phase so that the others wouldn’t become too worried over his brief absence, and then, once the actual shedding began, he could just stay in his room. Hopefully, the others wouldn’t think anything of it (after all, they knew he just stayed in his room sometimes). They didn’t even have to know about it.

It wasn’t like he particularly cared about them knowing about the shedding itself. Remus and Virgil already knew he shed, and the others might have guessed it. And even if they didn’t know, he  _ was _ half snake. They shouldn’t exactly be surprised. 

No, he had to hide his shed because he just knew that, despite everything that had happened recently, he was going to pick at his skin  _ a lot _ . Likely even when the shed was over. And he could hide that away with the same methods as he normally did, but he didn’t want to tip the others off that they should possibly keep an eye on him. He didn’t want them to know or even be able to guess that his shedding made his skin picking worse. If they knew, they might want to check on him, and they would probably prevent him from giving in to the compulsion. And on top of that, even if they  _ couldn’t _ stop him, they would know he was doing it. And what then? Would they get mad at him for throwing all their hard work away? Would they think he wasted their attempts to help him? Would they think he was weak for being unable to stop himself?

Of course, he knew that the others knew he still hadn’t been able to stop himself from picking his skin completely, but he  _ had _ managed to decrease the frequency of it. He didn’t want them to see him slide back. He didn’t want them to see him get worse again. 

_ He didn’t want to disappoint them. _

XXX

And so, Janus remained in his room during his shed, spending the time with Snakey. He actually notified the others that he would be busy and to not expect him to be around for a day or two, and he was surprised to find that it actually worked. The others hadn’t come to see if he wanted to do something or talk or anything. He was left alone to deal with himself. 

Once his shed was finally over and Janus felt okay enough to leave his room, he found Virgil and Patton in the kitchen, drinking coffee together. 

“Hello, you two,” he greeted, keeping his voice neutral. 

“Oh, heya kiddo!”

“So, you’re back in the land of the living then, huh?” Virgil asked. “Finish whatever crap you were doing?”

He nodded, feeling a small prickle of anxiety that he quickly pushed to the back of his mind. 

“Alright, cool. There’s some more coffee in the pot if you want any.”

“Ah, I think I’ll make some tea instead.”

Virgil nodded, and as Janus went to start boiling water in the kettle, he breathed a sigh of relief. They hadn’t noticed anything.

XXX

Virgil knew damn well what Janus had been doing in his room. But he wasn’t going to call him out on it. Sure, he had spent a few years apart from Deceit, but he knew when the other side’s shedding usually started. And even if he had forgotten, he had seen Janus scratching at himself when he thought no one was looking. 

In the moment it took him to realize Janus’s shed must be starting, Virgil felt a stab of worry over how hard Janus was scratching himself. He had been about to say something when he realized what was going on and stopped himself from questioning it. Janus never really liked talking about his shed, and he wasn’t surprised when Janus told them he wanted to be left alone for a few days. Of course, Virgil was still worried about him, but he knew from experience that bothering Janus during his shed was a bad idea (for all parties involved- Janus would always get upset and testy at the drop of a hat during it). 

Despite his worry, he knew that Janus would know how to deal with his shed on his own, so he explained the situation to the others and told them that they should just let Janus be for a while. It would only be for a few days, and staying in his room that long wasn’t even unusual for the deceitful side. And besides, Janus knew by now that he could come to them if he needed help, right?

And so, Virgil kept quiet and pretended like he didn’t know what Janus had been doing, even when he eventually emerged from his room and entered the kitchen with shiny, new scales. Janus seemed to be alright, and he had only been in his room for a little over two days. If Janus wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, whether he was embarrassed or whatever, he would let him- just as long as it didn’t turn into a problem. 

But for now, everything seemed to be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so there’s one more part to this story after this (assuming I don’t get more ideas sometime in the future), but the next part is pretty long. 
> 
> I hope y’all stick around for the ending :3


End file.
